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EOHCB: Effective Leadership & Management of Ego States

Leadership and management play crucial roles in driving organisational success. However, the effectiveness of leaders and managers often depends on their understanding of human behaviour and their ability to navigate complex interpersonal dynamics. One valuable framework for achieving this understanding is the concept of ego states. By recognising and utilising the six ego states, leaders can enhance their ability to motivate, engage, and manage employees in the workplace.

Understanding Ego States

Ego states, a concept developed by psychologist Eric Berne, refer to the different states of mind that individuals adopt in social interactions. These ego states are Parent, Adult, and Child, each of which further subdivides into Nurturing, Critical, Adult, Free Child, Adaptive Child, and Rebellious Child ego states. By recognising and utilising these ego states, leaders can effectively communicate, influence, and manage their teams.

The Parent Ego State – Guiding

The Parent ego state encompasses learned behaviours, attitudes, and values acquired from authority figures, such as parents or teachers. Its further divides into two aspects: Nurturing Parent and Critical Parent.

Utilising the Nurturing Parent (“The Glue”) ego state allows leaders to provide support, guidance, and positive reinforcement to their employees. This approach fosters a nurturing and supportive environment, encouraging personal and professional growth.

Conversely, the Critical Parent (“The Driver”) ego state can be counterproductive if overused. Leaders should be cautious not to be excessively critical or adopt a condescending tone, as it may stifle employee motivation and creativity. Instead, constructive feedback and mentorship should be the focus.

The Adult Ego State – Thinking

The Adult (“The Deliverer”) ego state represents rational thinking, logical analysis, and decision-making based on objective information. It is the ego state that leaders should strive to operate from most of the time, as it promotes fairness, objectivity, and problem-solving.

Leaders who tap into their Adult ego state create an environment of transparency, accountability, and trust. By basing decisions on data and facts rather than personal bias, leaders inspire confidence in their teams and foster a culture of evidence-based decision-making.

The Child Ego State – Feeling

The Child ego state encompasses emotions, intuition, and creativity. It divides into three aspects: Free Child, Adapted Child, and Rebellious Child.

The Free Child (“The Energetic”) ego state embraces curiosity, enthusiasm, and a willingness to take risks. Leaders who encourage the Free Child in themselves and their employees stimulate innovation and a culture of experimentation. This fosters creativity and adaptability in the face of challenges.

On the other hand, the Adapted Child (“The Workhorse”) ego state refers to behaviours shaped by societal norms and expectations. Leaders should be cautious not to stifle individuality and discourage diverse thinking by relying excessively on conformity. Encouraging the expression of ideas and providing a safe space for open communication is vital to unlock the full potential of the team. The Adaptive Child is accommodating, has tolerance, needs to please people, has a strong need for love, acceptance, and recognition.

Thirdly, the Rebellious Child (“The Changer”) ego state refers to behaviours that are oppositional, defiant, loves conflict, loves the word no, invested in challenging, not afraid to be confrontational, able to take up issues, and not afraid to say what they think.

Utilising Ego States for Leadership and Management

To effectively utilise ego states for better leadership and management, leaders should consider the following strategies:


Leaders must develop a deep understanding of their own ego states and the impact they have on their leadership style. Regular self-reflection and seeking feedback from trusted colleagues or mentors can aid in this process.


Being able to shift between ego states based on the situation and the needs of the team is crucial. Recognising when to nurture, when to provide guidance, when to be rational, and when to encourage creativity enables leaders to adapt their approach accordingly.


Leaders who empathize with their employees are better equipped to tailor their leadership style to individual needs. Understanding the ego states of team members and responding appropriately fosters a sense of belonging, motivation, and job satisfaction.


Effective communication is the bedrock of successful leadership. Leaders should choose their words and tone carefully to match the desired ego state. This ensures clarity, understanding, and a conducive work environment.

By leveraging the six ego states, leaders can unlock their potential to inspire, engage, and manage employees effectively. Recognising the Nurturing and Critical aspects of the Parent ego state, adopting the Adult ego state for rational decision-making, and tapping into the creativity of the Child ego state creates a dynamic leadership approach. Embracing this framework fosters a positive workplace environment, promotes individual growth, and drives organisational success. Ultimately, leaders who understand and utilise ego states are better positioned to navigate the complexities of managing diverse teams in the ever-evolving workplace.

For any further information or enquiries please contact the EOHCB representative in your area by clicking HERE.

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